This is about a couple who have known each other for almost 1 year. They will be getting married within next 2 weeks.

        The boy is Sindhi and the girl is Maharashtrian. Both are working couples. The boy is the Executive Director of the Manufacturing industry and the girl is a Manager in a Software Company. They meet every evening for about 2 to 3 hours (before the wedding).

       Girl: You are telling me about your mother who is very particular about her rituals.

          Boy: Yes, she is very specific and particular but I am sure she would also like to know about your culture as well

         Girl: I googled for information about celebrating Teej festival in your caste.

          Boy: Well, its up to you what you want to follow. I will not force you to fast for my betterment.

        The conversation continues and they get married within a period of 2 weeks.

      This is a small family of 5 members (son). Mother, father, son, daughter and daughter-in-law (Newly Wedded girl).

        Things were going on very smooth for 3 months and then the real situation starts. Regular small quarrels start between the boy and the girl.

        Conversation (Normal situation, Not a COVID one)

          Girl: Its been 2 weeks since I went out to eat. You are very busy these days and I feel neglected.

          Boy: There is a legal glitch come-up at my work place and I have to discuss it with the senior and legal authorities. They are taking up most of my time. We had been going out for many dinners before, I hope we can wait a little longer.

         Girl: How many more days do I have to wait?

          Boy: It could take another 10 days; I look forward to end this soon.

         It’s been almost 3 weeks and things are not changing. So, the conversation starts on Thursday morning.

         Girl: I am going to my mother this evening and will stay there for 2-3 days. You're too busy with your work and you don't have time for me.

          Boy: You can stay there for 2-3 weeks if you want and that started an ego-battle between the two of them.

            Girl: Yes, you have been wanting that for a long time. Your sister and mother have been always commenting and taunting on the food that I make. I have to do all the housework. I have been also told that my mother did not teach me anything.

            Boy: Its not possible, my mother cannot say anything like that.

         The girl went to her mothers house and has been there for the last one week

       After 1 week, the boy called his wife to ask her when she would be back, to which she replied that she would stay for one more week. He was shocked to hear this.

             Phone conversation 

         Boy: What happened, you decided to wait another week.

           Girl: Yes, I have some more work to do here, I was to give you a call and update about me staying back.

         Boy: What type of work are you talking about? And you were supposed to give me a call and tell me, but when? I did call you last week. I don't think you're really interested to come back.

         Girl: I cant compete with you in your arguments and weird assumptions. I am very busy with my office work and we do not have maids at home due to sudden mishap in her (Maids) house. So, all the work load is on my mother. Do you remember before marriage, you used to call me every hour, what happened now?

        Boy: So, you are worried about your mother and you are not worried about your mother-in-law. She is also working, as our maid has also left most of the houses due to her sickness. You can stay in your mothers house as long as you like. Or I would say you dont ever come back.

        Girl: Okay, so you're planning to get rid of me. Nowadays I see that you are completely ignoring me.

        The struggle lasted for about 30 minutes, when they decided that there was no way out. This time they came to the counselor.

           Counselling:

       First, the counsellor heard the stories of both the boy and the girl separately, then the counsellor had a joint conversation with the boy and the girl.

           Counsellor: I have heard both of you personally and have got a good feel of the challenges you have been facing with each other. So, tell me, if you decide to stay separate, will you make any claims/demands against each other. The demands/expectations will be different from each other but will be acceptable to one another to a certain extent.

          Boy: We never told you we were here to get separated.

          Girl: Yes, it's not like we are  here to seek your advice to get separated.

           Counsellor: Thats great. I'm glad you both never intended to be departed from each other. As you are not ready to get separated, that you have agreed in front of each other right now. But have you both made sure that your partners know this. The way you fight and argue, your intentions and words do not match.

         Boy: If I did not give her a call once in every 2 hours, she would call me and ask if I was ok.

          The Counsellor to the Girl: When you do not get the call every 2 hours from your husband, what’s the feeling you have at that moment. 

       Girl: I would think something was wrong or probably he needs my help and stuck somewhere. But it never happened that I didn't get a call from him within 2 hours.

         Counsellor: So, you did not want to live without each other before marriage and you feel that there have been created a demarcation between you both after marriage. But still you don’t want to get separated. 

         I have started to get a feeling that guess you both have been underestimating efforts, adjustments, contributions and sacrifices of each other. 

         I want you to follow some of the instructions for 15 days. See the results and let me know your feedback.

        1. Take a small notebook or a piece of paper and write down all the good things about your spouse.

         2. Write the mistakes or misconceptions about your spouse with a red pen on the reverse side of the same paper.

          3. Keep this paper or small notebook in your purse or wallet.

          4. Read good things 3 times a day and bad things 1 time. (for 15 days)