(Gul Shivnani) A very strong word on bonding, sharing and trust. It’s not only a word it’s a feeling and emotion. This feeling makes you content and complete. You are very strong on your emotions that converts in your thoughts and then words. Relations are in different form and category. A mother and child are a relation, father and child are a relation, a brother and sister are a relation, husband and wife are a relation and many more. All these categories of relationships are based on only one important concept of TRUST, BELIEF and AFFECTION. We have a good amount of trust and bonding with our parents, brothers and sisters, but is that same true between husband and wife OR todays qualified couples. Have you ever thought about the reason for the same? This is because we have spent minimum 18 years with our parents, brothers and sisters. But the time that couples spend be it a husband OR a wife with be each other is not similar to what we spend with our family. Does that mean a husband or a wife should take so many years to build trust? We have seen a frequent conflict between a couple (Love Marriages) who generally spend good amount of time before getting married. We have also seen successful couples (Arranged Marriage) who have not spent a reasonably good amount of time before marriage. Does it mean that spending time with each other is the solution? My experience says, more than time its communication and constant care that is very important. It’s the meeting of minds and understanding and respecting the feelings of each other. It’s the patience and calmness that helps us to win this conflict battle.

           Some nice quotes say “Relationships last longer because two people made a choice to keep it, fight for it, and work for it”

         “A True relationship is two unperfect people refusing to give up on each other”

       We all behave based on how our childhood was, how we were when we were adolescents. How were we treated by our parents and loved ones? We call this attitude, emotions, feelings and acts with different names in our counselling world. On the basis of that we form a perception and based on that we have expectations. We get shattered and angry when these expectations are not fulfilled. 

        I have come across many couples who are not really happy living with each other and often have a threat of departing or getting in the legal battle.

        In our subsequent reads I will help you with some activities and solutions to manage the situations.

      Relationship – Covid Situation

        This is a situation where many of us have been locked at one place without major movement. Suddenly Internet is become a basic need more that our food and clothing. Its ok if we skip any off our meals but cannot skip any of the memes, episodes, gossips or hindering across social media. For all this internet is very much needed. Initially all were very excited for this paid vacation with an expectation that this will be over very soon. OMG, things did not turn the way we thought. Its almost 6 months we are locked with same faces around. Sleeping schedule have changed, eating timing have changed and our life suddenly have stuck in time with very limited members around. 

       Have you ever thought that we have never spend so much time with our family? Now suddenly we feel friends are good, outside world is good, outsiders are good. Is that true?  How many times we have heard couples saying each other “you don’t have time for me”. 

       Now most of the individuals would have started to feel that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to the other. They must both also be committed to accommodating their differences, even as those change over time. But is that hypothetical or too theoretical? Covid situation is one of that time, where we have a chance.

      Relationship is healthy and fruitful when it is full of romance and love. Understating and adjusting with the difference of 2 matured and sensible individuals. Romantic relationship is most meaningful aspects of life, and are a source of deep fulfillment. Its time to reevaluate each member domestic participation. 

      Think about this if you are a complete family with husband, a wife, a son and a daughter. Husband taking care of the cleaning of the house, making early morning tea. Daughter taking care of cleaning sweeping and cleaning floors. Son taking care of the used utensils by washing them. And wife taking care of the meals for all. All these characters are busy in their routines, studying or working from home. But still have their work defined and complete without prompting.

       If similar activities are taken care of by a couple who do not have any kids, but are good in sharing the domestic work and maintain the relationship and the house at the same time. This is along with their working from home activity.