(Gul Shivnani) On Sunday morning a married couple woke up after a beautiful night. They went for a morning walk and came back 1 hour later. The wife was bored and asked her husband to give a glass of water. Reluctantly, her husband gave her water, saying, I am also tired after an intense walk. The wife prepared the breakfast and they were both eating their breakfast.

Generally, it used to be a very talkative atmosphere every day since morning, but today there was no conversation for about 15 minutes while having the breakfast.

This time the wife says I prepared the breakfast despite my legs were also paining. How does it taste? This was the beginning of the burst of the balloon (ego and conflict) that was filled in. The fight started .....

Husband- You mean to say that I do nothing and of no help to you at all! And just sitting here and just see you doing all the work.

Wife - I never told you this, but your help in this situation has been very less or negligible. Due to the COVID situation we have no household help (maid or cook). I have to do all the work alone, and I have to make the food as well, don't I? Why do you feel so bad today if I just requested for a glass of water?

Husband- Didn't I clean the dishes last night? Didn't I prepare lunch yesterday. Also cleaned the house for about 3 times last week.

Wife -  That's it, you're always showing up and wanting to count the help you provide. If I start with that, you will have a long list of things I have done. But you won't count it, as you never appreciate it. The worst thing is that you called your mother and told her how you washed the dishes and made lunch. Now she has the full opportunity to harass and taunt me about how much work I make you do.

Husband- At my office my assessment week is going on and I am not interested in arguing with you. How much trouble you have been giving me all along and bothering me a lot. Will you please leave me alone, or do you want me the leave the house?

Wife -  Oh wow, now I have become a nuisance for you. Okay, I'm going to my mom and stay there for the next week. You be alone let me see who feeds you and who cleans the house.

Husband- Why only go for a week, go forever. I don't want to see your face at all.

Wife -  Well, it's good I go forever, and very angry she left for her mother's house.

2 weeks later .......

Husband called his wife and asked her when she would come back home, she had been gone only for 1 week

Wife -  Oh, I thought you told me not to come forever & you also did not want to see my face. Now what? Soon you started to remember and miss me.

The husband spoke very angrily, AGAIN I did a mistake and called you. Don't come, I won't call. Its better we get separated and live our life.

Support / Guidance

I am a mentor and their common friend. I know a little bit about their marital differences. They met me and after hearing their full story I gave advice.

The wife is in the media industry as an Art Director. Husband is an Executive Director in an IT company.

Counsellor to Husband-Would you agree that your wife is an integral part of your life?

Husband- Yes

Counsellor to Wife -  Do you agree that you are completely safe, secured and satisfied with your husband?

Wife -  Yes

Counsellor - So, you both agree that you are not complete individually without each other. We all live with many expectations and demands. And be dissatisfied if those expectations are not fulfilled. 

Now if you plan to split up, who will take care of your basic needs? Have you ever thought about, who will spend good time with you?

If you think that you can't live with a house anymore, then that idea is not correct. There's a big gap between the two of you in communication. 

It's a complete process, I can help.

Visit the Counsellor - Gul Shivnani for practical solutions.